Music: The Submarines

It might be old-school but I love this remix.

{REAL} With A Capital 'R'

Once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always. ~ Margery Williams

The last you've heard from me was over a week ago. So sorry about that but life has been a bit of a whirlwind. It feels like every night there's been something going on. Someone to see, making candles, something else to accomplish, clean, finish basement, take a breath, deliver candles, plan and host a tea party at church, survive, maintain a loving marriage, focus on my career, plan for the future, take a breath, landscape and the list goes on and on. I'm exhausted and spent. I feel really alive in the mornings and feel very productive.... then I get home and I'm just over it. The thing is... is that I'm not really sure what I need. There's not just this one thing that I can put my finger on and say "Yes, this will solve this rut!" I'm just here, indefinitely. And my Debbie Downer outlook comes with a side of "everyone else has it together"and/or "everyone is so perfect." But I put on a big ol' smile and I fake it. Boy, am I pulling it off too. Right now, I'm not my best self. I'm not Ashley. I'm just treading water and keeping my head above.... This is the journey of {real} life. Truly, life isn't always a big bowl of cherries (or a delicious box of chocolates). And it's through times like these that will ultimately make me understand how beautiful and rich life is.

You & Me ~ DMB

Tomorrow is a new day... well, tomorrow I will smile at everyone I see and meet. Tomorrow, I will expect good things to happen. I will surround myself with an aura of peace and positivity. I will radiate positivity through every inch of my body. Life is too short not to be optimistic. Tomorrow, I will be back on the road of making my dreams come true. I will accept, breathe, and let go of the negative. Jesus, I already feel better. Thank you, blog. This is the best therapy ever.

 

The Try-Out

Let me take you back to early August. I get a text from a friend of mine from high school~

 

M: Ashley, I can't believe I didn't think of this before... but Theatre Cedar Rapids is looking for a piano player for a play in September.

ME: What?! Cool, when are the tryouts?

M: Well, this is a little short notice but they are tonight at 6 pm.

ME: Holy Sh**, it's nearly 4!! That is short notice.

M: Oh and you have to sing 18 bars of a Florence & The Machine Song and also do some improvisation.

ME: Uhhhh....

 

So I did what most normal people would do in a situation like that. I tried out for the play with 2 hours notice. As I'm driving, I'm trying to find a Florence & The Machine song that I can actually legitimately sing. Seriously, her voice is amazing. My voice is just good enough to karaoke at the Viking Lounge... which isn't saying much. I have 1 hour on the road that I can practice singing before I get home, then I have about a 1/2 hour to put together a song on the piano. This should be amazing. {INSERT SARCASM HERE}

 

Again, I do what any normal person would do once 5:30 hits and I have to leave for this last minute try-out. I fill up my empty bottle of water with pinot grigio, kiss my husband for luck and head to the theatre. The great thing about theatre tryouts is that you are trying out in front of the directors AND also the rest of the people that are looking for a role. Awesome! {SARCASM} I end up introducing myself to many of the 'regulars' that I've seen in past plays and explaining that I have never tried out for a play, been in a play, or had any experience with theater. Ha! I was met with equal parts surprise, confusion, and excitement from the others.

 

So let me get to the audition process. I got up in front of about 50 people, sang 18 bars of 'Shake It Out' (Florence & The Machine) and 'Don't Need Nothin' But A Good Time' (Poison). My voice was shaky, I was terrified, but there was something so empowering about getting up in front of strangers and just letting it rip. The end of my song was met with applause and cheers. I followed it up with Fantasie In D Minor by, Mozart on the piano and later read with other actors from the script of Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson. I left the audition feeling like a million bucks. My confidence was at an all time high. I was in awe of what I just did and I did it by myself. 

 

Let me end this by telling you that I didn't get the part. Really though I can't even be disappointed simply because I was surrounded by some of the most talented people in this area. I'm really thankful for the experience and the confidence that I got out of this. I have never been more out of my comfort zone in my life and yet there was a part of me that felt like I belonged and I was just as talented as anyone else. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the buzz of the actors, maybe it was the lingering asbestos in the rafters of the theater.... Whatever it was, it was amazing! Theatre Cedar Rapids, you haven't seen the last of this girl!

 

 

Music: Angus & Julia Stone

What a great song for a beautiful Saturday morning. Bill and I get lucky every so often when this song comes on XM Radio and we definitely jam out with some crazy singing! I hope you enjoy it as much as we do.

I'm Home

 

Home ~ Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

 

I'm pretty proud to admit that my husband is a really, really good handyman. If something is broken, he can fix it; if it's bent, he'll straighten it; if it's missing he'll replace it with something even better. If I have a question about something around the house, more than likely, he can answer it. He has had a hand in every single house project we have done. Ripping old the old bathroom, building our front porch, knocking out the wall in our kitchen, hanging cabinets, drywalling basement, tiling basement bathroom, landscaping bricks and many, many more projects. None of that includes all of the work he's put into our outbuilding! When we bought our house it was definitely a fixer upper that needed a lot of updates but Bill saw the potential in what it could be. It hasn't all happened at once and it's involved a lot of blood, sweat, and tears! Doing it yourself really requires patience and practice but in the end the reward is incredibly gratifying. Room by room, we have primed, painted, fixed, demolished, stained, sprayed, hung, installed... and truly made our house a home.

Amana Rundtour: A Team Effort

Sunday, August 26 6:24 am: As I hear the rain against our window, I wish that I had a couple more hours to bury myself underneath our warm, down comforter. But alas, I have signed up for the Amana Rundtour duathlon. I drag myself out of my warm bed and look outside. It. Is. Soaking. Wet. Fan-freakin'-tastic.

 

7:00 am: I leave my house with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in my hand. Rain or shine, I'm gonna do this! As I begin my drive, I'm getting more and more nervous. It's pouring!

 

7:35 am: I arrive at Amana Middle and meet my teammate, Troy and his friends who have travelled all the way from Dubuque. Troy is a co-worker of mine at our Dubuque office. We have bonded over fitness, races, and challenges. Super cool guy! We have both made it very clear that we will push ourselves to the limit but by no means will we win this thing. Let's face it, I'm not a fast runner. And he SAYS he's not a fast biker.

 

8:00 am: Race commences. It is pouring so hard that the water is coming off my hat so I can hardly see. My feet are sloshing through the street and people are passing me left and right. I push on.

 

8:22 am: I pass my timing chip to Troy. I've averaged 8:32 for the 2.6 mile run.

 

9:05 am: I see a blue shirt coming towards the school. "No freakin' way" I say outloud, it's Troy. He just biked 18 miles in 42 minutes! Holy smokes. He passes on the timing chip and the pressure builds. I can't let him down!

 

9:28 am: Team CEC finished the Amana Rundtour duathlon. My second 2.6 mile run was 1 minute behind my initial pace. Not bad, not bad.

We placed 5th in the Team Division out of 16 teams. We were the 1st co-ed team to finish the race!

 

10 am: Family style breakfast at Ronneburg restaurant commences with new friends. German pancakes, eggs, bacon, hash browns, english muffins, coffee, juice... Any calories that were initially burned were immediately replaced. It was so worth it!